#this took 16 hours im not even joking

[sboochi]

Pretty sure "ease him" doesn't mean anything but I'm NOT rewriting that now >:/

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[luxtrys]

anakin doesn't like people touching his hair and you just love teasing your boyfriend

i just know how angry ani gets when someone who isn't you comes anywhere close to his hair.

its not because he spends hours doing it in the morning, because lets be real. anakin has better things to be doing with his time, like betraying the jedi order. he simply hops in the shower every morning with you, using your birthday cake shampoo that you scold him for every-time you see him use way more than he needs to, gets out, drys it with a towel and then goes on with the rest of his day. if he's taking you out someplace special he might go over it with some gel, but thats about the extent of it.

the second someones hands come close to anakins hair, he struggles to resist the urge to pull out his lightsaber and slice them clean off. like that one time obi-wan decided to congratulate anakins success in his duelling victory with another padawan when he was 16. lets just say that obi-wan never touched anakins hair again.

but of course when it comes to you, ani yearns to hand your hands in his hair constantly.

<3

after a hard day at the jedi temple, you watch as ani slumps beside you on the couch while you're watching you're favourite reality show on television. after taking off his heavy robes, he leaves a soft kiss on your forehead, nose and lips before resting his head on your lap. you know what he's asking for, but you decided to test his patience.

you smiled to your self and your new plan, your hands still resting beside you. as seconds pass and anakin doesn't feel your long acrylic nails raking through his scalp, he turns to face you. with his head still squished against your thighs, he frowns at you.

"what ani? why do you look so grumpy?" you giggle, taking your thumb and swiping is across the pout on his lips. "you know why." he states sternly. "do i though? because it seems my mind is blank." you tease.

what he does next is unexpected in the moment, but is so in anakins style. he pushes himself up by his hands, and grabs your hips. you squeal as he lifts you like you weigh nothing, placing your body onto his lap so you're straddling him on the couch.

this is how he liked it, because even if you were on top of him, he was in control. you never like to admit it, because you strive yourself on being strong and that no one has the higher ground in the relationship, but you both know thats not the case.

anakin thrived off of your dependency on him, he loved that more than 99 percent of the time he knew that he was in control of a situation. and that reflected greatly on how your relationship dynamic was. anakin was brooding, protective, arrogant and didn't take shit from anyone. and you, well you were like a ray of sunshine, you really went where ever the wind took you and you didn't really mind much about what other people said about you. you didn't hate many things and you had always seen people saying bad things are that they were learning, and that it was really a reflection of how they were feeling on the inside.

you did however find pride in your self in a certain moment when a man on the streets of downtown Coruscant whistled at you suggestively, and that he cowered when you gave him a lecture on respect and quietly apologised before scurrying off. what anakin would never tell you though is that, in the moment he stood behind you, all tall, dark and powerful, moving to rest his hand over his lightsaber and staring straight into the eyes of the man infront of you.

anakin was a force that wasn't to be reckoned with, but you liked to tease him everyonce in a while. and you always paid for it.

ani's rough large hands ghosting over your sides snaps you out of your thoughts quickly. remembering what you were doing, you giggled at how little it took for you to piss off your sweet loving boyfriend. placing your hands on his rock hard chest, you voiced softly "im not joking ani, i really don't know why you're all grumpy"

"hmm, how am i not believing a word thats coming out of your mouth pretty girl" he rasped, trailing kisses down your neck. he knew you would break when he started kissing you, but you persevered. you just wanted him to admit he liked when you scratched his head, how hard was that?

"i don't know ani! maybe if you tell me what you want me to do then i can help you." he wasn't buying your act, at all. anakin was secure enough that he didn't care that he liked when his girlfriend played with his hair, shit, he would tell the whole world if he had to. but he cared when you were teasing him, and he loved putting you back in line.

"well, if i didn't know any better, id think my good girl was teasing me" his kisses now moved from your neck down to your chest, your tiny laced floral tank not giving much coverage to your cleavage from his lovebites. "im not ani" you whined, his jaw ticking at your choice of tone. "maybe you just need to start taking control in this relationship"

you knew you were done for the second those words left your mouth, ani didn't like when you used your so called 'bratty voice' and he really didn't like it when you questioned his authority. you were sending prayers to every god you could think of as his jaw clenched tightly and his fingers gripped the fabric of your tank top.

he stood up unexpectedly, you legs quickly wrapping around his waist as he held your thighs up. you couldn't help but let out a small 'oh my god’ as he started making his way towards your shared bedroom.

"no baby, no god. just me.”

<3

yall this is a mess im so sorry... feel free to not count this when you think of my writing thankq <33

[simonsrosebud]

TSC FIRST REACTIONS (SPOILERS)

i have many more but my brain is mush rn

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jean watching the championship game was heart racing bc WE all know what happens at the end. his reaction to riko’s death is… the detached description of it is so fitting because he barely remembers it himself, he was so disassociated

the fact that his first knee jerk reaction to fear and panic is to claw at his neck until it bleeds is so interesting bc hello that takes strength and PAIN to dig that deep, i don’t understand it even after finishing the book but hoping i get more clarity on my second read.

jeremy and kevin’s relationship is very trusting, i think more than we thought. not the fangirl of each other that we joke about.

jean taking the picture of renee pls shoot me

jeremy’s rage and grief when he finally starts getting a bigger scope of everything jean lived through is a LOT. i wanna scream at jean to just LET HIM IN even knowing he won’t

the in depth explanations of the 16 hour days and all these other little evermore facts that we’re learning and have wanted to know for YEARS… yikes

jeremy calling kevin with no warning asking “did riko break ur hand?” SO BOLD

jeans notebooks crush my soul so hard it’s heartbreaking. and his trinkets😭

“Jean was exactly the kind of guy Jeremy was prone to trip himself up over” OH MY GOD?? there’s a difference between me wanting jerejean vs them actually being attracted to one another.

jeremy is a golden retriever confirmed. “This is Barkbark von Barkenstein. You can call him Barkbark or Mister B for short. It's a bit of a mouthful on its own.”

BLOND JEREMY YAS

jeans reaction to blond jeremy. fully took this man out of orbit.

although he hasn’t confirmed fully, jean being gay (assumption) was almost surprising bc from what i remember from the EC i almost thought he’d lean more pansexual since the ravens kinda slept with whoever (not that he seems like the type to use labels anyway)

“Kevin's words mocked him in the back of his thoughts: ‘Some of them you like.’ Jean cut off that line of thinking so fast he felt dizzy. It didn't matter that Jeremy Knox was annoyingly easy to look at; Jean knew better than to look at another man too long.” SCREAMING?? WAS JEAN THE ONE W THE CRUSH ON JEREMY THIS WHOLE TIME WHILE KEVIN WAS JUST FRIENDS??

and now my chest hurts bc “He was years away, watching a different beautiful boy lean in close to say, Will you teach me when he's not watching? It could be our secret.

Jeremy Cat and Laila seeing the notebooks broke me a little, the accidental invasion hurt

the ravens dropping like flies…

“he hadn’t missed the way Jean’s gaze tracked him when he readied for bed. Since Jean was quick to look away when he was caught, Jeremy had promised himself he wouldn’t ask. This was too good an opening to pass up, though, so he finally said, “More exclusively than you do, I think. Does that bother you?” AHHHHHHHH WOAHHHHHH i threw my phone (also can’t tell if jean looks at cat/laila the way jeremy assumed in that paragraph or if it’s just curiosity, cause it always seems like it’s just curiosity not attraction

Grayson. think we all saw smth like that coming from jeans time in the nest but holy shit

Neil showing up WOAH. i knew his FBI business wouldn’t be over in one day but i didn’t rlly expect that, although it makes sense

im still not over jeremy actually being gay its a dream come true that we all saw and hoped for but still

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi miss L, i have a spiritual/religious question and i don't know anyone else who could answer it.... since i was a kid i've been attracted to tarot, spirituality, mystical explanations of the worlds workings, astrology, all that good stuff. i never used to connect my spirituality to a single higher power, and i never had any issues with this. for a few years i've been wanting more than just a disturbingly accurate tarot spread and i feel compelled towards god. i'm not sure how to word it honestly! i keep getting messages all around me telling me the saint that watches over me, and that god is there too. so here's my issue.

whenever i reach out and pray or do any kind of ritual or reach out specifically to god or a saint, my life immediately starts going haywire. yesterday i set up a small shrine in my room for my dead kitty since i've been feeling better about her passing and i prayed a little. i asked for sign that i was going in the right direction, and hours after i prayed, our sink plumbing got clogged, my cat (living) ran out and had to be caught, my mom dropped a whole bowl of food, and i wasn't able to pick up groceries bc the bank cards wouldnt work. this never happens in my household, we've been joking that we're cursed. this happens everytime i try to reach out to god. the worst time was when my mom lost her job, dad crashed his car, and i kept having panic attacks out of the blue for a week. i freaked out and took everything i said back and bathed in salt water for hours hoping i could cleanse whatever happened to me. it worked and my life was back to normal the next day.

do you have any advice? i would love to put my trust in a higher power as i've never been religious before, but smthn is going wrong somehow.

thank you for reading, i love seeing you on the dash and your music is so soothing and nostalgic. much love!! <3 <3 <3 <3

so sweet, and caring, thankyou u//u...im sorry things have been difficult :< The following message does not in any way endorse the claim that i understand God, that God could ever be understood, or that any one of us should every try to understand the -inner workings- of God ! purely my feelings v v v

i relate to ur background cus i grew up w no religion, my parents didnt talk about any kind of woo-woo stuff, my dads dad was woo-woo AF and my dad haaaaated it so he rejected all of it so i was pree much just a blank slate. but for some reason i was just REALLY obsessed w magical thinking and the like. believed in god spirits nature deities angels demons magic aliens and i was totaly engrossed in ~my secret world~. i was kinda scared of religion tho i viewed it in a bad light since i was learning about it during the george bush post-9/11 era & for some reason my child self was rly interested in consuming critique of america , iraq war / westboro baptist church type stuff , from an outsider's perspective i saw religion as something american people used as justification for committing atrocities & crazy power trips , which, i mean.. anyways

it didnt help me trust God xD but many of my beliefs remained into my teens i just didnt have any outlet for them. so i got into astrology around 15/16, started learning more about tarot & occultish type things, crytstals, all those subjects intrigued me very much. but i felt the same way as you, like, something was still lacking from it, even when i got these super profound tarot readings, or read my birth chart a million times over looking for clues about ~wtf is this stupid life for~ , i never felt safe. never felt assured, never felt i could trust myself or my future. it was an odd period, early 20s. but then kinda same as u, as my knowledge on these topics expanded i started to notice the quality of Holiness a lot more. the more i learned about different religions the more i realized how connected it all was, and how religion connects to "the occult", and magic, light and dark, i find it very hard to put into words. i just started to find myself actually really earnestly believing in God in a way i never thought i could? Like reading the bible & being completely enthralled, i NEVER woulda thought. i started to feel way safer in the world even tho im still not "christian" technicaly. but i believe in jesus now and it makes me feel safe on a cellular level.

i believe the real jesus was wholly non judgemental and loved everyone no matter what, the thing that susses me out about Religious Institutions was always the judgement that can spawn from it. misses the point of everrything in my opinion.

its kinda wild actually cus when i used to be into like, trash reality tv ghost hunting shows, i remember there was one ep where this psychic was talking about how she always prays to jesus for protection before doing a reading or entering a haunted place. that really intrigued me cus i thought jesus and psychic automatically cancelled each other out. i think that moment rly opened up the rabbitehole and it was so mundane like wtf. still rememebr it tho!

sorry im really in a typing mood tonight.. So my next point was gonna be that, just because i started to really believe in god and jesus and really PRAY for protection & guidance, my life did not get easier xD like i would say the past 6 years have been nothing short of a shit show. my life was fucked before that too tho so its hard to compare, but still, its safe to say my shift in perspective actually brought a lot of chaos into mylife. the point of it, i feel, is that i had to dismantle it in order to truly Live in the frequency of trusting God. because this was new to me! i wanted to trust God, i put out the energy of seeking God, and God was like ok hold on tight..

So now i'm here all these years later like, oh yeah God is real and i love him and it's all real. it's CEMENTED into me lol. When i used to say i trust God it still felt like i was asking permission to be able to feel that way. but now i really really do. And messed up stuff will keep happening forever because there needs to be light & dark, there can't b one without the other. But now i have faith in a really personal way that i wld never attempt to transfer onto another like even by talking about these experiences & concepts i still feel like i don't want to prove anything. except that it's worth it to keep trying, i guess :]

and OK this is really just how i feel like take it with a grain of salt , but from what i've gathered, if you believe in energy entities & astral happenings & whatnot, well. it's my opinion that the invisible low frequency parasites that feed on many ppl's dread & fear, when they're attached to u and u begin to raise your vibration, they get very upset and throw a fit. like think of a demon being exorcised, u know, u imagine it having a total fit in a desperate fight for it's life. if ur appeasing the demon and letting it use you then of course it's going to keep things on an even keel, u kno?

taking a salt bath was a good thing to do tho like one of the best things <3 its also good to have crosses or your holy item of choice around the house, light white candles, organize clutter. pray a lot like every time u feel happy and safe or notice something beautiful say thanku to God.. talk to your angels and encourage them i pray a lot specifically to strengthen them, upgrade their armor n shih...i ask them to work for my loved ones, i try to be concentrated on them, visualize them around me all the time, visualize them standing guard outside every door. i feel this kinda stuff increases ur Holy EXP and over time your spiritual armor gets stronger, bad entities move on and things in life start really flow. the trust just has to b there first, and it will be, so long as u allow it <3

it just takes time, and like i said i dont want to prove anything or be The Convincer, but if u were already having feelings to go down this path i recommend not giving up and let God carry u through those tough situations instead of seeing them as an absence of God or God's Wrath. just keep praying cus it can't hurt right, even if it's just a way to occupy your mind with kind thoughts about your friends and family, there's no downside to prayer. its your own journey so u just gotta live it and feel it out ^^ but pls dont feel u are being punished by God or demons or anything else! So many "bad" things that happen end up being neutral or even "good" in the long run. We can never foresee the reasoning behind God's plan ~~~

yeah, this was a long one, wow...i drank a energy drink 12 hours ago i think it made me hyper.. well have a swell evening if ur reading this anon!! o also i liek to listen to psalms before bed to help me feel calm i feel like it helps bring in angels. i think i will do so now, thanks for the Q i hope things improve for u very soon. Good night anon < 3 3 3 PMD 9

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas, it’s grieving anon. Here for the vibes today. TAYLOR SWIFT… I mean… 

So, ive had a few weird things happen. I got distracted and fell over, and injured myself so yay… and then I had the weirdest thing happen.

So I mentioned I got nightmares right? That I woke my mum up by shouting and sitting up in my sleep. So I have a bunk bed (small room- needed space for a desk). And a few days ago I had this creepy dream and legit propelled myself out of bed- still half asleep and panicking. Then had to climb back in. 

And last night I literally crawled from lying down to the other end of my bed and climbed over the bars and fell OVER and OFF my bed to the floor 😭

You know the length of like, a normal door? It was like that far that I fell. I woke up both my parents. 

IM 16! I shouldn’t be flying out of bed. Luckily i’m not too hurt tho. I remember the dream, I was just climbing over a fence, I couldn’t feel the floor but I knew it was there so I let go, and then I WOKE UP ON MY FUCKIGN FLOOR. 

Like whyyyyy.

Anyway. So Long, London. My first favourite. “HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU, think I had, did you, think I had in me, HOW MUCH TRAGEDY?”

Then, of course, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart. AMAZING. Yes.

And, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? 

So far, they’re my fav but i’m sure the others will claw their way into my heart too. 

Anyway, my sisters been annoying me. She seems annoyingly fine. She called all the injury’s i’ve been getting “pre-exam” injuries… NO! They’re post fucking death injuries. 

I know her, I know she’s suffering in silence. But it means whenever I see her, she seems fine. And it’s fucking annoying. 

I don’t know anymore. My mum, she said her nightmares went away after my Nans death when she went to a grief therapist or something. i’ve never gone to a therapist. I don’t know how it’d feel. And, I don’t really have the time. 

But I don’t want to wake up on my floor again. 

I feel like I blinked and my life became this mess I can’t control. And I have no energy to anymore. I lost all my fire. I used to strive to learn and care and participate. Now i’d happily rot away. Why bother. 

Anyway (that’s like the third time i’ve said that now 🤦‍♀️) “IM JUST GETTING COLOUR BACK INTO MY FACE IM JUST MAD AS HELL CAUSE I LOVED THIS PLACE” 

Writing these at the end of some of my days has been very stress relieving so thank you. I’ve bullied myself into not picking the scab on the horrid massive cut I got from falling over. I’ve refrained from pressing into the bruises I got from sleep falling/climbing off my stupid bed. 

“IS IT A WONDER I BROKE. LETS HEAR ONE MORE JOKE”

 This isn’t even my usual music vibe 😭

“DONT YOU WORRY FOLKS, WE TOOK OUT ALL HER TEETH” Iconic. 

“YOU SHOULD BE. YOU SHOULD BE.”

“YOU WOULDN’T LAST AN HOUR IN THE ASYLUM WHERE THEY RAISED ME”

Literally everything i’ve tried to do this week has failed. School work, running, sleeping.

I’m so tired. 

Hi hon! I'm so glad to hear from you! <3

Nightmares after a loss are SUPER common, and you're right to know that they don't have to do with exams. As far as therapy, I know you said you don't have time, and I used to say the same thing but then I got to thinking...

I wasted SO much time being sad, run down, anxious, depressed. Like I probably spent at least an hour a day in anxiety paralysis, you know? So devoting an hour a week to STOPPING those symptoms actually saves me time, in the long run.

It may not feel the same for you, but it's something to think about! <3

I'm so glad you like TTPD. Using music to cope is also super helpful. Screaming lyrics is so...emotionally rejuvinating.

Keep messaging me <3 I'm thinking of you!

[nathank77]

12/25/24

9:16 p.m Changed 9:30 p.m

I'm so exhausted. I got home not too long ago. It took me 3 hours to pick out my Contamination outfit to have Christmas with my mom and sister. I'm not joking 3 hours. In the process I found out a pair of Adidas that were very tight on me fit very loosely now. But yea it was stressful. Really stressful.

I had to pick out an outfit that would be comfortable for my dad's bc well yesterday it was nice dressing up and all that but I had to wear a huge hoodie over everything. A zip up... and a jacket and I was so uncomfortable in the car... so I went simple and wore a basic dark gray under armour shirt with my linkin park hoodie and my jacket. That took me hours to decide on... bc I was like why not wear a t shirt but I still wanted to look nice...

The Contamination outfit was horrible. Trying to find clothes I'm okay with losing.. my mom was a major bitch about Riley being in the crate and also was pretending she's going to rehome her... prob to get me to stay here but I mean Riley absolutely cannot be in the crate for more than 5 minutes without her flipping shit. I got home from dad's and it was 3 minutes before she was like, "she's been in there all day! Can I take her out?" My sister came down to take a photo and my sister was like, "how could it be all day? We have been gone for hours?"

I mean i forgot my mother has a beat up face so the pictures didn't go well. Skye was really sad when we did Christmas this morning with her bc as she put it, "it was all fake." She's really disappointed that she started drinking again.

She bought her concert tickets. My mother was barely even happy lol I got my ps5 and a bunch of stuff i got to put in the attic bc my room is packed full..I didn't get any clothes.. but I got a new bed set so that's good. Sheets and pillows and all that.

I got a couple things I can use but people don't get it when I say if you buy me a shirt I got to take a shirt out of my room and move it to the attic I mean it.. my room is packed. I had already pre planned fitting the ps5 in here... bc I had a feeling. I have a beautiful gaming studio.. I can't wait to play silent hill 2

I got to go to the gym tomorrow.. and I mean im still stressed. I'm worried about sleep. I think my thyriod is a little overactive... I pooped 5 times today.. I ate more the last two days but I mean... and my sleep has been effected. It makes sense. Christmas is over. So hopefully my thyriod returns to normal.

My mother is super pissed about going back to work and having Riley be in the crate all day... she got me vinyl gloves.... but yea riley is going to need to be in the crate all day.. cause I mean they aren't reusable... I can't seem to find a pair of vinyl gloves that are washable and reusable..

But I'm hoping her being crated from 7 a.m to 3 p.m might make her fucking rehome Riley.

When I got home Riley was in the crate but I was hooded and like walking in with a bed sheet set and I had my back turned and she went buck wild barking and then I turned around and she immediately stopped. I guess she didn't recognize me. Cause I mean she was fine once she saw me.

The stress of Riley kills me. I'm glad I went to my dad's but I feel bad about my mom but we opened gifts and I got a lot of stuff... and we were all trying to sit as a family and she was rushing it, "nate you got to get your stuff off the stove. Throw it all on your bed." And I said, " I'm not throwing it on my fucking bed. My room is tight and I'm getting home late and I can't fit it all in my room..... I got to move it into the attic and slowly try to make space for it in my room and I'm like once I start putting stuff away Christmas is over."

I mean she was really fucking mean. I'm super stressed and worried about sleep. I'm worried about my Contamination outfit being contaminated and me being contaminated.

I really need a break. I got to hit the gym tomorrow. And then it's just the grind.. and I mean I still want to kill myself.

I know I'm not going to find someone. I know I'm a loser. I know no one is going to look at me and see their future with me. Maybe i can play silent hill 2 and commit suicide after. Cause I'm not meant for this world.

[otgwbgyu]

first off, my schedule sucks ass like actual ass

i only share 3/7 of my classes with friends

in my first hour i’m actually all alone and did try to communicate w my neighbor (someone i thought was an ally) to discuss our answers but got ignored so i looked away and as soon as i did she started talking with the ppl behind her 🙂 even if she’s just awkward and prefers talking w her friends it’s still so embarrassing and upsetting

my science class is ok ig, there’s only ~16 of us and 4 (including me) r girls 🥳 and i sit next to corbin riley but he seems cooler than usual these days

in my programming class i’m the only girl among a bunch of freshman boys (and braden) that’s not anxiety-inducing it’s just uncomfortable and awkward

but yeah it’s mainly ethics that’s got my panties in a twist it’s enough to have me break down crying before school while in the car w my dad hahahahahaha

and after that crying session i got the best announcement ever! my lunch period was changed!!! TO THE ONE WHERE NONE OF MY FRIENDS ARE!!!

me and my friends were ALL in 3rd lunch together, but now me and lola got downgraded to 4th lunch with all the freshmen!! yay!!!

FUCKING GEOMETRY IS A SOPHOMORE LEVEL CLASS. SOPHOMORE. IDC IF THERE’S FRESHMEN TAKING THE COURSE, THEY SHOULD’VE EXPECTED NOT HAVING FRESHMAN LUNCH BC THEY WILLINGLY TOOK A SOPHOMORE CLASS

i swear someone in the administration has it out for me i’m not even joking im gonna wake up to a dead bird outside my house signed by the administration in blood

idc if i’m being dramatic or if im being a big baby it’s just all these not even minor fuck ups have been piling and piling and only seem to be piling. before i know it im gonna get switched around to an even worse schedule

and not to mention the fact i don’t rlly like my geometry teacher. she beats around the bush wayyy too much and needs to get to the point sooner. like she keeps asking students to solve a problem when they keep getting it wrong like stop at the second attempt and explain it pls

she’s also the typa teacher who says “no! 😊” whenever u ask anything like it’s so passive aggressive it sends chills down my spine like u can talk normally and maybe add a “sorry” i dunno…. being a teacher doesn’t give u the right to do all that

and now i only got 80% for my latest assignment bc i didn’t do ONE problem that i SWEAR i did. the stupid assignment isn’t counted as completed until u do all the problems so mine wasn’t submitted until today aka after the due date meaning i only get 80% for all my work. i did 25 (i swear it was 26) yesterday and ONE today. ONE. ONE SINGULAR PROBLEM LATE. and boom my grade drops a letter. fuck this shit i’m sick and tired i might actually kms or something livings overrated atp

i also have an 89 in english but that’s manageable, no one else did well on that stupid test except for lily and her 6th sense. that test was fucking stupid. fym “does holden think his mom has good taste in clothes” i don’t know??? am i supposed to? apparently i am bc apparently it’s proof he might be a fag. he’s already a major twink tho so who’s surprised

[fraener]

4/16/23

the rest of yesterday was very good too. it was the first actually good day ive had in a really long time. i discovered the blog of someone who lives right across the street which was so shocking. i messaged them but they havent said anything back yet, but seeing their meals was so wonderful. it made me really want to eat good food again and start cooking properly again it was so inspiring. i went to the farmers market with hans and got leeks, shallots and apples, and we had a good snack of daal and bhatura in the tower, did some errands getting things at the herb store. in the afternoon i took a bath (which i wanted to take with hans but i got too hot and had to get out) and then went to choir practice. i was half an hour late since the bath made me really spacey and i was getting a headache. i found out that were performing on the 20th in portland! i wish i had known going into it, it makes it all a lot more scary. i also forgot my song book in callums car. we went to the teachers house afterwards and everything was joking and having snacks and drinking but my headache was getting worse so i limped along through it and put on a brave face even though i didnt feel good. my head hurt so bad it was hard to get to sleep but i took an advil and was ok. i had strange dreams about when everyone was living in my childhood house together. today ive been slow. i broke my no dairy streak and ate a yogurt for breakfast since i really wanted it. its pouring rain outside so i feel really sluggish and tired. ill probably try and get some schoolwork done today. the sound of the rain is really comforting though, im looking forward to may when the leaves are back and the rain is warm and frequent and i can have the windows open while it happens. i want to get a meat thermometer so i can try cooking a roast chicken in my big pan. i also want to make jingalov hats with some of the spring ephemeral greens around the garden. gotta get out and find some nettles and get the chickweed before it gets too tough. 

[transylvaniablues]

okay now im gonna try to start summarising this shit though warning i will do it poorly because I haven't written in a dreadfully long time. im going to refer to mary as martin for most of this considering that was what most people knew him as. the layers of name fuckery i put in his story is pretty intense so like..sorry about that. Lol. 'mary' as his primary handle was created because madoc made a stupid joke about his name (marcin) when they first met and it stuck because madoc in this universe is a bit of a prick. it's okay though because they both are.

to start, quick run-down of their personalities/backgrounds when they were separate from each other.

marcin "martin" wojcik grew up in poverty, living as an only child to his two parents. his family never found solid footing in one place, having immigrated to the america's when martin was very young. though his parents were never particularly successful, martin showed promise from a very young age. he was academically quite talented, excelling in writing, as well as more creative pursuits; though, he was quite socially isolated, always shy and quiet. despite his families financial situation, he dreamed of attending university, his eyes set on a particularly prestigious one, too. this pipe-dream seemed almost possible until his father had.. defected from his family when he was 16.

dahlia moore was the youngest member of an influential old money family from britain, her parents having moved to the america's to.. spread their wings, figuratively speaking. despite her upbringing, dahlia was humble, kind. she used her wealth to pursue her various creative hobbies, though her passion always belonged in social work. she dreamed of helping others, for profit or not. and though she hadn't exactly figured out how, she was determined, hard-working, with the funds to back her up.

anyways martin and dahlia met in their late teens, at 17 and 19 respectively. martin had been working several jobs at this time. most of his hours that weren't spent at work or school were spent at the library, where dahlia was working at the time. dahlia first took interest in him after discovering their shared taste in obscure literature, striking up conversation with him frequently. though martin was very reserved, he eventually began fostering somewhat of a deeper connection with her. mind you, his connection was always a platonic one. his perception of romantic attraction was heavily skewed due to his exposure with those sort of connections only really being that of his parents, who had been married out of function. it's uh.. generational, at this point. this will come up later. dahlia, however, was genuinely interested in martin that way, and began flirting with him. though martin initially didn't reciprocate her advances he was.. accepting of them. he figured that it was about time he began looking for a wife, as his father had taught him, and dahlia was someone he was fairly fond of. he also recognised her families wealth, his wealth if he married. that kind of money could support him, his mother, even pay for his tuition if all went well. so, why not?

martin's mother also approved of dahlia, viewing their partnership in a very similar way to her son. dahlia faced less pressure from her family, though they were encouraging of their relationship. having taken a liking to martin's eccentricities, dahlia's family believed he had potential to be something great, and agreed to support his academic career similarly to patrons as long as he married their daughter.

so, he did.

martin and dahlia were betrothed at 19 and 21. it took them little time to move in together, finding a cushy apartment in the city where martin would attend university. they lived together in relative comfort during this period, martin had good excuse to pour most of his focus into his studies, and dahlia was curious to try the domestic life. after graduating, martin took a job as a film reviewer for the cities paper, a cozy job while he started writing his own novel. however, it's here where the first cracks in their partnership began to show. dahlia began doubting if martin liked her as much as she once thought, noticing that he never engaged physical contact with her. or even showing much affection at all. especially now that he no longer had an excuse to fall back on since graduating. dahlia didn't want to leave martin, but ever afraid of conflict, didn't want to talk to him either. they stayed in this wishy-washy stalemate until martin began reflecting on his own feelings. he saw how couples behaved, saw how husbands normally treated their wives. he wondered if there was something broken inside him why he didn't feel the same about dahlia, why when they were together he didn't feel a thing. he even considered taking a.. sabbatical from their relationship to think on it. this was until his mother fell sick, very sick. she had always struggled with physical disabilities since martin was young, but her condition began to deteriorate quickly. martin, having been very close to her, was in deep pain at seeing her in this condition.

her death came swiftly, and it almost instantly rewired martin's broken psyche. wracked with grief, he thought the best way to honour his mother was to achieve what she always wished for him. a happy, successful, safe family. new found determination to really try to make something out of him and dahlia filled him. he graduated top from his class at a university he thought he wouldn't even get the chance to see? why couldn't he put in the work to create a successful marriage with the woman he's already married to? so, he began faking it, and faking it real hard. he copied the romantic gestures he read in books, saw in the films he was reviewing. he was more physical. but with this came something new, a deep, unmistakable nausea that came with being with her. it didn't take him long to discover that alcohol helped with this, turned his brain off just enough.

this went on, for awhile. the same horrible cycle for both of them. dahlia, having grown less naive, began growing resentful of the way she was used for her families money. though, still reluctant to blame martin, she threw most of that resentment at her parents, who were seemingly more preoccupied with fulfilling martins potential instead of hers. she had realised, in her late 20s, that all this time had past yet she hadn't done a single thing to work at her own dream. instead pushing all that aside to pursue anyone elses happiness. it took much too long for both of them to realise that the life they had created wasn't the life either of them wanted. by the time they were in their mid-to-late thirties, they barely spoke. both of them looked for their own little ways out, martin spent nights blackout drunk, dahlia rarely at home, doing anything she could for the littlest bit of fulfillment. martin's alcoholism started creating problems in his previously stable working life, and at 38, he was fired from his 'dream job', with hundreds of unfinished drafts to show of his novelist career.

Yay okay im done now. after that is when martin meets madoc after calling in about his newspaper ad and the main story begins. there're a lot of specific little events i didn't mention but that matters more to their individual stories. this was just me focusing on their joint narrative. also more stuff that depends on some world context that again. Hopefully i will make up some terms for and be able to elaborate on. anyways insert an emote i really wanna use from discord. it's of a guy you probably don't know dressed in a cowboy hat with a very uncharacteristically large smile giving a thumbs up. I use it to convey awkward moments when you're like Okay im.done but you're embarrassed about everything you just said kinda

okay number one on my incoming mary dahlia rant. Though it feels weird calling him mary in this context sometimes. uh. most essential songs about their fucked up relationship

these are all from mary(marcin(pronounced markin)(though his name was most often anglicized by his peers and institutional figures so he was more often called martin))'s perspective because the story is. but there is one dahlia perspective song i may bring up at some point

noticing now that this is 2 silver jews and 2 wilco songs. can't help that these were the two bands that had inspired him the most. Shout out to perfect day by lou reed though that one is more Mary/madoc who need more songs associated with each other.anyways

[baroquebucky]

touch

soulmate au where when you touch your soulmate you see glimpses of your future with them; the winter soldier touches you and realizes there’s so much more out there

series masterlist // next

part one

word count: 1.7k

masterlist

a/n: hi bffs !! hope u all enjoy this !! i am a sucker for soulmate au’s <3 let me know what u guys think and if u guys want a part 2 !!!

Bucky awoke to the sound of the guards unlocking the door, the metal creaking as Alexander Pierce walked in, waving the guards off to leave the two alone.

“you have another mission today” the man spoke smoothly, bucky getting up from his small bed and staring at the man infront of him, “you need to finish this before it gets out of hand” pierce spoke, eyeing the soldier as he stared blankly ahead.

“Do you understand?” He questioned, bucky looked at him, nodding his head silently as the guards took him out, taking him to get ready for his mission.

He had stopped resisting, he had nothing left, he couldn’t remember much and he had no idea who he even was. Bucky followed the motions, suiting up and grabbing his weapons alongside the other HYDRA agents.

You frowned at steve and natasha, grumbling to yourself as Sam let you into the house.

“im y/n, sorry about these two” you smiled at the man, extending your hand out and turning to your two friends.

“thank you for coming y/n, we really need you” Steve spoke, natasha nodding in agreement as she dried her hair slowly.

“yeah, yeah everyone always needs me” you joked, sitting next to them and rubbing your eyes, “woke me up from my nap so this better be good” you spoke, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back.

Steve and natasha explained the situation, telling you what they knew about the winter soldier, you soaked in the information, attempting to google him but coming up with almost nothing.

“hm, so you want me to do what, exactly” you questioned, looking at the trio staring back at you.

“fight with us, help us, we have to stop HYDRA” Steve spoke, looking at natasha before continuing, “i don’t know who to trust and” he sighed, “we know we can trust you, are you in?”

You smiled, getting up and pulling the three in for a hug, sams eyes going wide.

“of course I’m in, i care about you guys too much to let you die alone” you chuckled, pulling away, looking at Sam before speaking up, “no ones dying by the way, right?”

The four of you were on the rooftop, getting information out of Sitwell, laughing when natasha kicked him off.

“What about that girl from accounting, Laura?” Natasha spoke, looking at Steve as he thought about the woman’s name.

“Lillian! Lip piercing right?” Natasha nodded and Steve shook his head.

“yeah I’m not ready for that” you laughed at the two lightly.

“you should get with the time have a little fun!” You teased, Natasha smiling as you sided with her, nodding her head excitedly.

As Sam brought Sitwell back you began the interrogation, threatening to throw the man off for good is he didn’t start talking. Your eyes were steely and they let you handle him, getting all the information you needed.

“i didn’t know you could be so-” sam stopped, trying to find the right words.

“evil?” Natasha offered.

“terrifying?” Steve chuckled and Sam nodded.

“Insight launched in 16 hours” you spoke up, checking your phone, Natasha nodded speaking up after you, “we’re cutting it kinda close here.”

Steve looked ahead with furrowed brows nodding his head, “well use him to bypass the DNA scans and bypass the helicarriers directly.”

Sitwell scoffed next to you, blabbering on about you something, you rolled your eyes, going to say something when someone reached through the window and threw him out, your eyes going wide.

“what the fuck!” You screeched, looking up and seeing who you assumed was the winter soldier.

Your eyes were wide as you stared out the windshield, a tug in your chest as you saw him sliding across the concrete, steadying himself with his metal arm.

Natasha pulled her gun out, aiming at the man. A car rear ended you, pushing you forward and knocking your wind out. The soldier jumped atop the car, holding on tight as the truck behind you pushed you all foward.

Sam pressed on the breaks, trying to steer away from the other cars. A metal hand reached through the windshield and tore the steering wheel out from his grasp.

“shit!” Sam yelled, eyes wide as the car drove into another, Natasha reaching her gun and shooting in hopes of hitting the masked man.

Steve grabbed onto the three in the front, looking back at you with wide eyes.

“go!” You yelled, scrambling to open the door before the car crashed into the wall.

“hang on!” Steve called, jumping out, with you bracing yourself for the impact seconds after, you flew out the door, hitting the ground with a thud.

You ran to join natasha and Sam, ducking behind cars to avoid the bullets, finally pulling out your pocket knife and hitting one of the men in the chest, running again as they shot at you three even more.

You and natasha jumped down, holding onto her as she shot something under the bridge to swing from.

The two of you landed safely, you pointed to the shadow of the solider, running alongside her to shoot at the man.

You both aimed and fired, hitting his giggled and causing him to turn back. You let out a sigh, hoping they would give you a minute to recover. You both ran for cover as he leaned back over, machine gun in hand and shooting wildly.

“fucks sake” you let out, breathless as you aimed to shoot back at him, running for cover once again, hiding behind the parked cars. Your eyes focusing on the bus steve had fallen into, relief flooding your body when you saw him jumping out and hiding behind the shield safely, eyes moving to the highway and seeing Sam shooting from above.

“I’m gonna leave this recording here, ill sneak up behind him and then you try and get him, we can double team him” Natasha spoke, you nodded, letting her record the memo before setting it down and running.

Your heart raced as you saw the soldier approach the vehicle, waiting for the right moment to strike. As Natasha ran to tackle him from behind you noticed the amount of people still around you, the explosion next to you sending people flying.

“shit” you mumbled, running to help them as Natasha held her own.

“get out of the way! Run! Get out of here” you yelled, pointing at those in frenzy to run in the opposite direction, you glanced over your shoulder, Natasha being thrown into a car.

As you turned to help her you noticed a little girl crying, alone. You debated for a second before running up to her, taking her in your arms and handing her off to some random adult who was fleeing.

Natasha had messed the man arm up, joining her in her sprint as you all yelled for people to move and to take cover. You heard the whirl of a bullet and natasha groan, doubling over next to a car.

“take of her!” Steve yelled, holding off the soldier. You let eyes were wide, putting pressure on Natasha wound and looking around.

“you’re gonna be fine” you told her, looking into the car and breaking the window with your elbow, opening the compartment in the passengers seat and smiling when you found a first aid kit.

“come on” you mumbled, moving her gently and cleaning the wound, doing your best with what little you had. You tried to bandage her, the sound of the bullets hitting Steve’s shield making your hands shake.

“go help them, I’ll be fine” Natasha groaned out, you hesitated before nodding, running to where Steve was.

You hid behind a car, watching as he shoved a knife into a van, barely missing Steve’s head.

You jumped from behind the car as Steve reached to grab his shield, hitting the metal armed man, you used your body weight to twist him back.

Visions flashed in your eyes, quick flashes of a man with a charming smile and beautiful blue eyes. The sound of laughter echoing in your ears as the mask fell besides you. You saw the two of you cuddled up on a couch, you saw two two of you watching a sunset while on a picnic, giggles falling from your mouth.

Bucky saw it too, his mind flashing with pictures of a life he didn’t recognize, seeing you, his mission in them. He saw you cuddled at his side, he saw you on a stage together singing with lyrics on a screen, he saw the two of you rescuing a white cat from the rain. Bucky saw you holding out a present for him, a bright smile on you face, he saw you throwing flour at him in a kitchen, cookies baking in an over.

He stayed on the ground, memories who he used to be flooding his mind, hope of who he could become clouding his judgement.

Tears brimmed in his eyes as he looked up at you, standing in front of Steve with an equally shocked look on your face.

“it’s you” you breathed out, your heart tugging in your chest as your eyes met his blue ones, they were cloudy and they were broken but god, you already loved them.

“it’s you” he whispered. A year rolling down his face before HYDRA agents surrounded you all.

“Bucky?” Steve spoke, finally getting a good look at the man.

The super soldier stayed quiet, panic in his eyes and he looked at you, setting his weapon down. You made a move to run to him, but Sam flew in, knocking him feet away from you, Natasha soon launching a grenade.

“no!” You screamed, running to where he was. He was gone.

“No! Please i just found him no!” You cried, sinking to you knees, Sam ran over to you, holding you tightly as you sobbed, agents surrounding the four of you and telling you all to get down on your knees.

You sobbed into sams chest, only leaving his embrace when the agents ripped you from him.

Buckys eyes were wide as he sat in the chair, his heart racing as he recalled your face, your hair. He recalled the flashes he saw, his future with you.

He had something to hold onto, he had something to fight for, someone to survive for. He thought about the man who was next to you, he was familiar, he was in his old memories.

Buckys mind raced, knowing they would wipe his memories, he soaked in every last detail, praying he could hold onto to what he had after they wiped him.

He could hold onto you, his hope.

[melovelydove]

Hanma Shuji x F!reader

Lunch Time

A/N: This is my first story on Tumblr so Im gonna try and get used to it on here, so this is pretty much a practice run

HeadCanon and Oneshot

About: This takes place in the past You visit Hanma during a meeting for Lunch, You're both 16.

HeadCanon

Making You and Hanma lunches kinda became a habit after a bit.

You've been dating of about 1 year and a half. The first month you were together you noticed Shuji really didn't eat the right foods.

He was always eating some ramen or just straight up snacks and soda.

He's favorite foods were spicy foods so you never really saw him any type of sweet candy, unless it came from your mouth (he'll literally kiss you to take the candy from your mouth and just take your lollipop out) and the only candy he really ate was the fire balls.

But earlier way he still had to fix his eating habits so 3 months into your relationship you started making bentos for the 2 of you to eat.

Hanma hates vegetables but when you make him eat them he had no choice but to listen.

Hanma likes when you feed him

This man will literally stop you from eating just to make you feed him

There are time when you'll give him a bento but you're busy so you'll leave after giving it to him and he'll found something of his food heart shaped or a small note of you saying how much you love him

He won't admit it but when you do write those note he collects them and hide them at his apartment in a box somewhere

Hanma maybe tough and all but your food may be his only weakness

Hanma loves to tease you when ever he's over your house and your trying to make

There would be days where you'd pop up out of one where to feed him even when you guys weren't planning on hanging out that day, but you rarely ever popped up at his gang meeting because he told you he didn't want you to get hurt so you had to text him before hand, but any other time was fine.

Some in his gang usually makes jokes that your Hanma's little house wife while you kinda play along just to try and embarrass him, but it always turns south and you end up embarrassed.

Knowing Shuji he would just skip school most days but the times when he did come to school you always had an extras bento just for him

WARNING, If you EVER gave another guy a bento box he's beat the shit out if him then eat the bento for himself but if they already ate it, he'll punsh him in the stomach till they throw up, so you learned if Shuji doesn't come to school ro just save if for him later or throw it away be you could give it to another girl, but NOT A GUY.

OneShot

You had spent the last 30 minutes to an hour at home in the kitchen trying to make lunch for you and your boyfriend. You only lived with your (mom/dad) but (he/she) never really minded if you ever used the kitchen but you always had to clean up your mess when you were done. Which of course you always did.

Today you had made chicken katsu with a some spicy seasoning on the both his and yours, with it you make white rice and a few fruit slices of apples and grapes on the side. You had also added 4 tamagoyaki on top of the rice with some steamed vegetables seasoned to perfection.

"Okay! Perfect!", You put the 2 bento on the counter and begin to clean up the mess you had made. Once you were done you took off the apron you were wearing before hanging it up and grabbing the 2 bento and putting them in your backpack. After putting on your shoes, you turn to the living and yell, "I'm leaving!!". You turn back to the door and walk out closing the door behind you.

After walking down the street and up some stairs for what felt like 45 minutes you finally made it to the wear house were Moebius was holding their meetings. You had forgotten to call Hanma ahead of time but it was to late now because you were already opening the door and when you did you were meet to the site of the gang surrounding something. All you could hear was some groaning and pounding. "Huh?...", You walk forward and tap a guy who was standing in front of you. "Um... excuse me...", the guy turn and looks at me, "O-oh! (Y-Y/N)...", He quickly moves out the way once he recognizes immediately and others move out the way quickly as you walk between the crowd seeing who you were.

Once you made it to were every one was staring, mostly everyone had noticed you. Hanma was standing in his normal spot next to kisaki, staring down at some guy who was beaten up. "Shuji!", he looks up a bit pissed, "Who the fuc- oh haha" He seeing who you were and his expression changes to a sinter smirk. "Heyyy angel~". He walks over to you, "Is it lunch time already?~", You were pretty used to being around Hanma's gang and seeing others beaten down from him.

"Yeah I made chicken katsu, oh and Kisaki your welcome to join us", He huff and looks away from you. "I'm good". You strug your shoulders.

Once you and Hanma left you went to your usually spot next to the old Sakura tree and sit down under it.

Hanma opens his bento and smiles wide before he notices the vegetables causing that smile to fade into a disgusted snorl. "(Y/N)...", you sign. "Come on just eat a few of them, or you could mix them into the rice and eat it with the meat".

You grab your chopsticks before reaching over and picking up a few vegetables, "Just one bit~"

"Tch."

He opens his mouth and eats it. "Their... okay I guess...", you smile and start to eat together.

A/N: I hope you guys liked it! Till next time you darling simps!

[golbrocklovely]

since i was asked so nicely by a lovely anon...

here’s the first half of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jan. 1 - being stuck in an elevator with 15 of your friends is the best way to start 2020

i kissed my hand this new years

ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space

Jan. 2 - thank you all i love you all

Jan. 7 - weird to think that about a year ago i was sitting in a cell in FL.. time flies

Jan. 11 - lmao i love you guys you get me

Jan. 13 - only fools rush in

Jan. 15 - you took the sun with you when you left -RK

the back of my mind has a constant itch for you

Jan. 16 - happy jail anniversary @/SamGolbach thanks for bailing me out

Jan. 19 - i promise you i’ll never act my age

Jan. 20 - real talk. should sam and i go on tour 2020?

(this makes really sad…)

Jan. 23 - there was an old man who kept coming to the 13th floor around 3am where our room was last night. i don’t like miami anymore i’m headed to orlando

Jan. 31 - looking for that deep connection with someone i'm tired of the superficial shit

Feb. 2 - IM DRUNK AT 3PM LETS GOOO CHIEFSSS

Feb. 4 - my couch is like a bed i could stay here forever

@/BigNik: Nobody cares about my well being but that’s ok

Feb. 5 - you should rap about this real shit bro that would change a lot. turn this emotion into art. i hope you know even if i’m busy i’m always still down to talk as well brother

(i don't like big nik, but this was such a sweet interaction &lt;3)

out of curiosity , would YOU ever spend the night in Queen Marys room B340 if you could ..?

Feb. 6 - imagine if we could all go explore some crazy haunted place one day … together. 🤔 i wonder if that’s even possible

if anyone is taking high school Chemistry right now , i’m so sorry

Feb. 7 - sometimes i can’t take a joke and it’s so annoying

Feb. 8 - i really don’t like myself when i party too hard but i got the best friends in the whole world

@/badboywolfy: This is Saturday afternoon regret hours

you feel me

Feb. 10 - valentine’s day is coming up soon i think i’m gunna throw up

Feb. 12 - sometimes my mind can turn into my worst enemy

Feb. 13 - cant stop thinking about living in another big house with all my boys.. life is about to be insane

keep on fighting and i will too

Feb. 14 - to whoever left a basket of chocolates and teddy bears at my door .. i <3 u

Feb. 15 - I MISS DUBAI

Feb. 16 - shadow man is watching

Feb. 17 - my pupils make me look like i’m rolling balls CONSTANTLY

Feb. 18 - still trying to process the psychic saying i was an old soul estimated to have lived a past 21 lives .. shit messes with your head

Feb. 20 - meeting you guys never gets old

Feb. 24 - missing the nights alone on my balcony

Feb. 25 - express your creativity

(i always wonder why he tweets shit like this out of no where lol)

Feb. 27 - blue haired Colbys makin a comeback

Feb. 29 - i'm always feeling like i'm in a dream

March 3 - need to watch the sunset more

March 5 - i don’t wanna tell my story i’d rather hear yours

March 8 - if this is all we know then we might as well run with it

March 9 - who’s down to have some deep conversations i’m tired of small talk

March 11 - just had my first sleep paralysis dream .. never experienced something so terrifying

praying for the world right now

(and here we go into the pandemic stuff……… great)

March 12 - you can have the prettiest face but i still won’t f w you if the personality isn’t there

March 13 - knowing that we all know nothing

March 15 - i haven’t stocked up on food or hygiene essentials does that mean i’m going to die ? am i making the wrong move here ?

March 16 - if postmates stops delivering i’m actually fucked

random fan: Just sit on your balcony, the stars will feed you

the balcony is the answer to all my internal worries/suffering

March 17 - day 3 of no food in the quarantine, not sure how much longer i can go with just a few almonds to spare. everything is spinning slowly.. i’ve been seeing silhouettes in my room dancing gracefully on the walls, i think my mind is leaving me. would you guys be mad if i ate Sam?

March 18 - time moves on, memories never fade

March 20 - the worst thing is never the last thing

March 22 - i think the only person i can really make crack up is myself

March 24 - it’s times like this i wish i had a little dog by my side who i could call my bestest friend..

@/amberscholl: here u go (pic of george)

can i borrow him? just for a week..? .. or maybe two?

@/amberscholl: (gif saying 'you want it? come and get it')

see you tonight

March 26 - guys i’m trying to learn how to dance but it’s gunna take some time i’m too awkward

March 29 - my last night on the balcony

March 30 - where the emo girls at

(i remember this tweet causing so much chaos in the fandom. everyone claiming they were emo… absolute madness lol)

March 31 - what can i say? me and the boys got gluteus to the MAXimus

(i take it back. THAT PHOTO OF THE BOYS NAKED AND THEIR BARE ASSES?!?!?! died right then and there.)

[4dtk]

hi, how are u??? can i request 7 & 26 kisses, 19 touching with hyuck where his s/o pretend that she forgot about their anniversary but in reality she's doing a big surprise for him - involving something that he really loves

sorry this took so long! don’t rlly like this tho lol,, maybe it’s bc i haven’t written cute stuff in so long TT

EDIT: I SAW 16 INSTEAD OF 26 IM SORRY HDHFSJF

edit 2: i keep forgetting to tag my homie @goingbananasoverpotassium im sorry 💀

kisses, 7 & 16: passionate kisses, nose kisses

touching, 19: high fiving

“have you heard anything from (y/n), hyung?” a ‘little’ worrisome to describe haechan’s panic was an understatement, but he hadn’t heard from you all day. it felt like the large 18 on his phone’s calendar that reflected back to him was almost mocking him, making him feel insecure.

18. the number that’s been instilled in donghyuck’s mind, when he had seen your beaming face and clammy hands playing with the threads on your shirt. he remembered the day crystal clear, hanging out in the dorms before he confesses with the loudest accompaniment from the boys. it had been some 2000s love song, shouted out of tune and melody to accommodate your name into the lyrics.

shaking your head with a smile at the memory, you could only imagine the amount of excitement he would get when he would head back to the dorms — a night filled with gaming and karaoke (just like the first time), along with snacks and junk food and each other. you never needed fancy restaurants or over the top dates, and while haechan would go to the moon and back, you both very much preferred stay-at-home, laze-around and impromptu dates.

your fingers try so hard not to reply to the plethora of messages that your boyfriend was sending you, having a little of moral left into you not to leave him on read because you were sure he’d call you right after. but still, he was haechan, lee donghyuck, with the incessant need to be babied and reassured and taken care of.

the members try not to give the surprise away, swearing that their hearts break in sync when yet another unanswered call shows through the maknae’s face. they offer up their words of comfort, although nothing cuts through to haechan apart from the whispers of the other members.

did he do something wrong? did 18 not mean anything to you?

“hey, baby, where’re you going?” haechan says to you as he drifts away from a dream, coming to consciousness and feeling around for the sheets that already strangely cold. it was rid of any presence. “oh.”

haechan scrambles around for his phone, smiling giddily into the lock screen where he had a picture of the both of you, ‘18th december’ shining back at him. it only makes him crave your touch even more after fulfilling his schedules today, hoping that you’d at least greet him in the kitchen before he left. you were nowhere to be found.

“did i do something wrong? mark? johnny-hyung?” he couldn’t help the thoughts from spilling out, jumping from one member to the next right up to the front door until he merely shoots every single person a glower, stalking right up to the front door to unlock it himself, to go and sulk by himself, to talk to himself about what he might’ve done to gain such a cold shoulder from you.

and then he hears music. he thinks it’s some sick joke when the others start to smile, but a tap on the shoulder has him whipping around. was the dorms haunted? did someone start to haunt the place?

in front of him was you, the you who had been missing for the whole day and had been the subject of his anxiousness for most of his sane hours. haechan believed that if he didn’t see you by midnight, he was sure to go insane.

“w-wait, but…” the rest of the members share smiles, who bid him goodbye with pats on the back and farewells until you’re hanging off the edge of the front door, debating whether to go to him. with one last high five to mark (which only makes haechan more jealous), the area falls into silence.

“so? what’d you think?”

haechan only pouts at the treatment he’s gotten, still unknown to the set-up inside that begs for the male to discover, focused only on you and the way you lean against the side of the door. not sure what to feel, feeling all emotions at once, haechan wasn’t even sure.

“you’re so mean!” he whines, pulling you close with a tug on your waist and even you can’t deny the affection you deprived yourself for the day. you easily fit into haechan’s arms, swaying to nothing in the quiet night until you’re inches from each other — chest to chest, face to face. “you really got me thinking that you forgot…”

your expression softens, “i know, hyuck, i’m sorry. jus’ wanted the surprise to be good, ya know?”

haechan sighs, nodding along like he hadn’t thrown a tantrum around his members just seconds ago. “can i kiss you now?”

it doesn’t even sound like a question, more like a statement and haechan’s pout deepens when you laugh. “okay, okay! yes you can-“

haechan crashes his lips onto yours immediately, making up for lost time as lips move against yours and he forgets where he is in a minute. hands find purchase under your shirt, in your hair, everywhere and you’re unaware of how much you’re leaning onto him until haechan pulls away, lips red and body barely supporting yours. he doesn’t hesitate for another kiss, interrupting your protest to hold your face in his hands.

“are you real?” you giggle at that, dipping down to place a kiss on his nose.

“i’d like to think so, yeah. can i please show you the surprise now?” haechan rolls his eyes, feigning annoyance, allowing you to drag him into the dorms that makes his jaw drop.

“no way! you got the limited edition pack for apex legends?” despite having been out for the whole day, haechan still has energy left for you and for the 18 that he cherishes.

“yeah, and i’m gonna freaking beat you!”

haechan only grins (lovestruck), “bring it on, baby.”

[smolbean12]

Too Late

Sakusa Kiyoomi x GN! Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Mentions of thorns, i said 'shit' like once

im not dead heh. i lowkey like how it turned out. have some angst after the two fluff fics. sorry not sorry.

Kiyoomi is 15 and lying on his bed, glaring at the ceiling and trying to burn all his feelings for you. He doesn't want to feel this way. It's pathetic. He tries to find something in you to hate. Were you unhygienic? No. Annoying? Sometimes yes. But he found it cute. Did you hate volleyball? Also no. You weren't really interested in it but that was okay. Not everyone had to like volleyball.

He tries and tries to hate you, to find a reason to stay away from you but fails. He stays up all night trying to push down the feelings. He goes to school the next day with bags under his eyes and feelings for you that were ten times stronger than the day before.

Kiyoomi is 16 and sees you cheering for him in the stands. He had scored the game point by spiking the ball into the opposite court with a deadly spin. You're hugging one of your friends and celebrating. Seeing you so happy made the corners of his lips twitch up. Komori gave a hard slap on his back and went on about how good the spike was. Kiyoomi thanked him and complimented some of his saves that prevented his team from losing points.

Komori took him and you to a cafe nearby to celebrate their win the next day. You congratulated the two volleyball players and talked and talked about Kiyoomi's apparently 'killer' spikes and Komori's 'life saving' digs. You awed at Kiyoomi's abnormally flexible wrists. "Cool," you said with wide eyes and an open mouth. Kiyoomi's chest felt warm and he's thankful for the mask that hid his small smile. He decided not push down his feelings anymore.

Kiyoomi is 18 and has finished packing his bags. He leaves for his university in two days. He will still be in Tokyo, which was good because going to a place foreign to him was slightly scary. The thought of being away from his family, Komori and you made his throat tighten up. He shook his head and heads out of his house. The three of you were going to have a farewell party of sorts for Kiyoomi. It turned out to be just a movie night with a shit ton of snacks at Komori's house.

Komori was fast asleep on the beanbag with his mouth open. The movie was still playing on the TV, though no one was watching it. Kiyoomi noticed that you had moved closer to him. He didn't mind it. He closed his eyes and tries to fall asleep. Though he ended up snapping them open at your voice. Your voice was soft and low and even with the noise of the TV he could make out what you said. His heart beats fast at the confession that left your lips. He doesn't say anything for what felt like hours. Finally, he gathered the courage to look at you. Maybe you were joking. Maybe you said that in a platonic way. But your eyes said otherwise.

The rarely used, emotional part of him begged Kiyoomi to tell you that he felt the same way, to hold your beautiful face in his hands and kiss you. Kiyoomi almost listened. Almost. He swallowed down the truth and lied to you. He told you he didn't feel the same way. That he saw you as nothing more than a friend. Your eyes glowed with unshed tears when you told him that it was okay. You apologized in case you made him uncomfortable and left.

Kiyoomi's throat burned with unsaid words. The lies he said wrapped around his neck like vines, it's thorns pricking his neck. I'm not ready, he reassured himself. He's not ready for you. He would be leaving for uni and he also had to focus on volleyball. He hoped you would wait for him.

Kiyoomi is 22 and plays for MSBY Black Jackals. Komori plays for the EJP Raijin. You work as a sports journalist for Japan's popular sports magazine. Kiyoomi has read a few articles and was extremely impressed. He smiled at the tiny picture of you next to the article. You looked even more beautiful now. The smile he loved so much back in high school was still the same.

During the first two years of college the three of you tried to meet up atleast once every two months. Slowly, once every two months became once every six months which turned into a year. You were all busy with college and side jobs which left no time to catch up with your friends. He was surprised when the feelings he had for you didn't fade away even after years of having little to no contact with you.

This time when Kiyoomi met you again he would confess. He was ready now.

Kiyoomi is 25 and lying on his bed, glaring at the ceiling. He's trying burn all his feelings for you. He doesn't want to feel like this anymore. It's pathetic. He's pathetic. His tears leave a burning trail across his cheek. He doesn't bother to wipe them. Kiyoomi's chest feels tight with unrequited love. His emotions have left the tiny cage he locked them in and reached his throat blocking his airway. Kiyoomi can't breathe and his throat hurts.

He's holding a piece of paper in his hand. He brings it up to his face and sobs harder than ever. He reads what's written on the paper again, just to make sure. It's a wedding invitation. You were going to marry someone who was not Kiyoomi. Kageyama Tobio. You were going to marry Kageyama Tobio, setter of Schweiden Adlers and not Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi looks at it and tries to imagine his name in the place of Kageyama's. It makes him cry even more—the thought of what could have been.

Maybe if he hadn't made you wait, it would have been him marrying you. He wouldn't be crying in his bed and probably would have been cuddling you. If he was ready back then it would have been him with you. But now even though he was ready, you had moved on.

Work by: @smolbean12

reblogs are appreciated :)

[atlabeth]

transferred part 17 - atla smau

part 16 | masterlist | part 18 

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know he’s falling for you as well. 

a/n: ahahah a ??? im sorry?? that this took so long?? as you know ive been dying of school and exams and even though ive gotten a couple oneshots out and did my celebration i just have not had the energy to write a whole mf chapter. but it’s here ! after a month of waiting

wc: 4.8k she is a LONG ONE FOLKS prepare yourselves

warning(s): cursing, alcohol and getting drunk, toxic relationships, mentions of cheating, implied emotional abuse, y/n having a breakdown, just an overall mess 

-

“Katara, don’t pull so hard!” You exclaimed, reaching a hand up to touch your scalp. You had entrusted your sister with styling your hair for the party tonight, but only after insistent nagging on her part. She had invited — or forced, as you liked to call it — you over to their dorm to get ready for the party that night together and do all kinds of girl talk. You figured this was a trap to get you to talk about you and Zuko, but it’s not like you would deny an opportunity to hang out with some of your favorite girls. 

“Sorry,” she chuckled. “Just think of it as retribution for all the times that you pulled my hair like this when you did my braids.” 

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly and glanced over at Toph and Suki who had already gotten ready but still lounging around the dorm to hang out. “So.” 

“So?” Suki repeated. 

“So when are the questions going to start?” You asked with a small laugh. “I appreciate the invite over here to get ready, but I know you all just wanted to ask me about what’s going with Zuko. So ask away.”

“What happened during that car ride—”

“Has he said anything to you since the kiss—”

“What’s going on at the tea shop—”

“Woah, woah! One question at a time!” you interrupted as they all started going on at the same time. “First off, nothing happened during the car ride. We worked out some miscommunications, and we’re all good. Second — yes, we’ve talked since the kiss, but there’s been nothing groundbreaking. And third, the only thing going on at the tea shop is the tea that we’re serving.”

Toph groaned and shook her head. “Are you serious? That’s so boring!”

“You’re telling me that nothing has happened in the couple of weeks since the kiss? Like, are you sure you’re not in a secret relationship with him and just neglecting to tell us?” Katara asked.

“There’s nothing going on,” you insisted. “As much as I want something to go on, I… haven't’ really said anything either.”

“What?” Suki cried. “You are crazy for him, how have you not tried to make something out of this yet?!”

“I don’t know!” you shot back defensively. “I guess I’m just scared that everything will go wrong.”

“Look,” Suki began as she took a seat on the floor in front of you. “You are kind, funny, gorgeous as hell, and an all around amazing person — and Zuko has it just as bad for you as you do for him! So embrace all of that, get out there tonight, and make a move!”

It had been too long since you had gotten a pep talk from Suki, and it was strangely refreshing. You nodded and sat up. “You know, you’re right! I have just… I’ve been sitting around, waiting for him to make a move because I’m too scared of getting rejected. But I am a delight! I am a lovely person, and I am a delight. Besides, we’re both adults! Even if he doesn’t like me the same way I do—”

“Which he does,” Toph interrupted, which earned her a joking glare.

“Even if he doesn’t like me the same way I do,” you repeated. “We’re still going to be friends. It’ll just be a couple awkward weeks, and then we’ll be back to normal.”

“That’s as close to the spirit as we’re gonna get!” Katara exclaimed as she gave you a high-five.

“It’s about time,” Toph joked as she hit you on the shoulder. “Now, are you gonna get ready or what?”

“Right,” you chuckled. “I did get this super cute dress a while ago that I haven’t gotten a chance to wear. I think it’ll be perfect for tonight.”

“What are you waiting for, girl?” Suki asked. “Show us!”

After showing off your dress, you had finished up the final touches of your makeup and gotten one last pep talk from all of your girls — you were feeling more confident than ever, and you were sure that tonight was the night you would tell Zuko how you felt.

-

Back at the apartment, the boys were going through a similar dilemma.

“Zuko, what are you so scared about?” Sokka was hanging upside down off of the couch, a move he must’ve picked up from his sister, as he questioned his friend.

“I don’t know, everything? She could reject me, she could start to hate me, I could ruin everything that we’ve built over the past few months— you know, it’s not even that bad, what we have right now! What’s the harm in just staying like this?”

“Zuko,” Aang groaned. “I get being cautious, but this is just too much! You’re letting your fears get in the way of you and Y/N being happy. You kissed her, right? And she kissed you back! I’m telling you, if you let her know how you feel tonight then everything will work out. Trust me!”

“Seriously, buddy — it’s just painful at this point. It’ll be kinda weird having one of my friends date my sister again, but somehow, you two being apart is worse. Just tell her already!”

“Okay!” Zuko exclaimed defensively. He finished doing his hair then ran his fingers through it, ruining his work completely. When Sokka gave him a weird look, he shrugged and smiled to himself a bit. “Y/N likes it this way.”

Sokka gestured at him in disbelief and shook his head. “This is exactly what I mean!”

“Okay!” he repeated. Zuko leaned against the kitchen island and nodded. “Okay, I’ll tell her how I feel tonight. After she’s gotten into the party a little, I’ll take her outside and I’ll tell her how I feel.”

“And then you’ll kiss and it’ll be happily ever after!” Aang crooned.

Sokka rolled off of the sofa and stood up, then picked up the car keys from the table. “Someone text the girls, because we’re leaving. I can’t deal with this anymore.”

“You’re gonna do great tonight, Zuko,” Aang reassured as he gave Zuko a pat on the back. “Just remember why you like her in the first place, and speak from the heart. She likes you, so as long as you’re you, things will go great.”

Zuko nodded and gave Aang a small smile. “Thanks. I hope you’re right.”

As the two of them followed Sokka out of the apartment, he took another deep breath and tried to psych himself up. He was sure that tonight was the night he would tell you how he felt.

-

The seven of you regrouped with each other where you would be spending the rest of the night — because a ton of students were expected to celebrate the end of the first semester, the party was being hosted in a warehouse that a couple of kids had rented out for the night. It was more extravagant than the first party you went to in every way — you could hear the music thumping from all the way down the street as you got out of the car.

“Do you think we beat them here?” Suki asked as she helped Toph out. Katara locked the car and looked around, shaking her head as she pointed down the street. Sokka, Aang, and Zuko were all walking up together, having parked a couple cars down.

“They beat us by a minute. Probably broke a hundred different traffic laws in the process.”

“You guys made it!” Aang exclaimed as he gave Katara a kiss on the cheek. “Sokka forced Zuko to let him drive here, said he’s too slow and that he wanted to beat you all.”

“Sounds like him,” Suki joked as she took Sokka’s hand. “You ready, Big Shot?”

“I’m always ready,” he grinned, earning a laugh from you and Katara. Your eyes fell on Zuko as he walked up and you smiled, already starting to feel your cheeks heating up.

“Wow, Y/N, you look…”

“Amazing?” you guessed coyly.

“Breathtaking,” he clarified, the beginnings of a smirk playing on his lips. You laughed and looped your arm through his, and the two of you began making your way towards the party.

The rest of the group shot each other looks that ranged from overjoyed to bewildered to confused. As they started to follow you, they realized that getting the two of you together might be easier than they thought.

-

It wasn’t hard to get into the spirit of the night once you got into the party. There had to be at least a couple hundred people there, but it didn’t take long for everyone to start breaking off into groups. Suki had roped you in karaoke while Aang had taken Zuko to meet some of his friends, giving Sokka, Katara, and Toph time to strategize before setting the plan in motion.

“Okay!” Katara shouted so she could be heard over all the noise. “I don’t think we’re actually gonna have to do that much tonight! Just.. keep him busy for a while and then give him an out, and we’ll do the same with Y/N!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the whole plan. I made it up, remember?” Sokka wasn’t completely focused on the conversation at hand as his eyes darted around the scene, seemingly searching for something. His eyes suddenly lit up and he started to back away from their small group. “There he is! Sorry Katara, gotta go prove to a bunch of freshmen that they don’t know anything and I’m better than them. Aang can handle Zuko!” He grinned at her then ran off into the crowd before Katara could protest.

She sighed and turned to Toph. “Suki’s got Y/N occupied and Aang’s got Zuko, so it looks like it’s just you and me, Beifong. Whaddya wanna do?”

“You’re telling me you don’t want to see your sister embarrass herself with karaoke?” Toph asked.

Katara laughed and grabbed Toph’s hand as she started to lead them through the crowd. “You know what? That sounds perfect. After all the work we’ve done for her and Zuko, I think I deserve to laugh at her for a while.”

-

The first two hours of the party passed by quickly. You spent the first thirty minutes making a fool of yourself with Suki as you sang a couple classics on karaoke — though it was a bit humiliating, you had an amazing time. The second half of the hour went to the beer pong competition that Sokka’s friend Zhen had organized (they did end up winning, so you supposed his pride was well earned), and the next hour was dedicated to dancing, drinking, and letting loose. You had finished the first semester of your masters program, so you felt like you deserved it.

You had stolen away to an emptier corner to give yourself a breather as well as some alone time — you were enjoying yourself, but it was close to claustrophobic in the heat of it all. You were passing the time on your phone when you heard a familiar voice call your name. Your eyes immediately shot up as you tucked your phone into your purse, and you were met with your favorite pair of golden eyes.

“Hey,” Zuko breathed, taking a second to straighten his ruffled clothes. You couldn’t help the smile that played on your lips as you ran a hand through his hair to muss it up even further.

“Hey yourself,” you laughed. “What’s so important that you had to run all the way over here?”

“I have something I need to tell you. It actually is really important, but I think it’d go over better if we weren’t in the middle of all this chaos.”

You would be lying if you said that didn’t make your heart beat a little faster, and as you felt your cheeks heat up you realized that this was your chance. “Uh, yeah. Sure, totally— I actually have something I need to tell you, so that’s perfect!”

“Really?”

“Guess we’re just in tune.”

Zuko smiled as he took your hand and started to lead you through the crowd, but when you heard someone calling your name you froze. The blood in your veins turned to ice, and your grip on Zuko’s hand tightened. He shot you a questioning look but you didn’t even see it.

“No,” you muttered, barely legible. “No, not here.”

You almost didn’t want to turn around to confirm your suspicions. You could’ve ignored it, pretended like you didn’t hear it over the sounds of the party, but there was a voice nagging in your head that you couldn’t just ignore it, you had to find out if he was really, truly here — so you did.

You wanted nothing more to be wrong in that moment — honestly, you thought that you were hallucinating at first. You hadn’t had that much to drink, but maybe the alcohol combined with the sleep deprivation was making you see things. Unfortunately, it was real. You could never forget those eyes.

“Hahn,” you mumbled, the sight taking a moment to register. “Hahn, what the hell are you doing here?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m here to party, and I’m here to see you.” The grin on his face didn’t waver as he looked you up and down, choosing to ignore the blatant shock on your face.

“You are not here to see me,” you clarified coolly. “We’re not together anymore, and ex-boyfriends don’t make hour-long drives to see their ex-girlfriends, especially ex-girlfriends that they treated like trash.”

“I figured you’d be more happy to see me than this,” he huffed. “Ungrateful as usual.” Hahn seemed to finally notice Zuko and scoffed as he looked at him. “What, is he your new boyfriend? You really downgraded.”

“You have no right to talk to her like that—” Zuko stepped forward to say more but you held out your hand to stop him. You gave him a short nod and stepped forward yourself.

“Hahn, I’m going to ask you one more time.” You could feel your hands shaking, whether it was from rage or fear you didn’t know. Your voice was deadly calm, but it was taking all of your energy to stay that way. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Hahn laughed and crossed his arms. “You’re joking right?” His amusement was a notion that you didn’t share, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably before he continued. “You wouldn’t answer my texts, and you obviously still want me after the things you sent me. My brother had a game here and I came along to see him, so I figured I would pay you a visit as well. You never really officially broke up with me, y’know. Are you really going to let three years go down the drain because of one little incident?”

Now it was your turn to laugh — it was from pure disbelief rather than amusement, though. “Are you serious? Hahn, I left you! I walked out, I moved out, I transferred universities to get away from you! Are you really so dense that you still think you stand a chance based off of some drunk texts?”

“Woah, you think you’re giving me a chance? Y/N/N, this is my olive branch to you — I messed up, I know I did, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix things up! I could have any girl I wanted back at Kyoshi, but I’m here because I want you — I love you, babe. You know I do.”

“You don’t get to call her ‘babe’,” Zuko snapped. “She doesn’t want you here, so why don’t you just save yourself some trouble and get out of here?”

Hahn snorted and shook his head. “Stay out of this, fireboy. Y/N’s a big girl, she can speak for herself.”

You looked around and saw that a modest crowd was forming around the three of you, and more than a few people were filming. If you didn’t want your relationship problems to become BSSU news, you had to defuse this as soon as possible.

“Listen,” you interrupted. “Zuko’s right, Hahn. It was a mistake to come here — if you’re as smart as you always say, then you would know that. Just.. go home.”

Hahn scoffed as if he couldn’t believe what you were saying. “No, you listen. I’m trying to do you a favor here, Y/N! I made one mistake, and apparently that was enough to ruin everything we had.”

“You know just as well as I do that it wasn’t one mistake!” you cried. “If you can really get any other girl you want, then do it! I mean, that wasn’t a problem for you during our relationship, so I don’t see why it’s a problem now. We’re not getting back together, so just stop!”

“It’s him, isn’t it?” he sneered as he gave Zuko another onceover. “He’s the reason you’re acting like this. I never thought that you would sink so low, but you’ve clearly gone soft. Come on, stop acting like a baby and we can talk this out alone.”

He started to reach for your hand but you pulled it back, and before you knew what you were doing, you had handed your drink to Zuko and your fist was flying right at Hahn’s face. It hurt like hell, but the pure satisfaction from seeing his shock as he recoiled was a painkiller on its own.

“How’s that for soft?” you spat as you rubbed your injured knuckles.

“You.. you bitch!” he yelled, staggering back a few feet as he put his hand over his nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “This is how you repay me after everything? You should be thankful I’m giving you another chance—” he started to reach for you again, but you slapped his hand away. You cast a glance back at Zuko and saw that he had been joined by Sokka and Katara, and knowing that they were with you made all the difference.

“I don’t want another chance!” you shouted. “You are the one that fucked up, you are the one that made my life hell, and you are not the one that gets to give out second chances! I gave you so many chances, and you messed up every single one! Hahn, I never want to see you again. And if you ever try something like this again, if you ever even try and talk to me again, I will do something so much worse. Now do the smart thing and get out!”

You gave him one hard shove to the chest then turned on your heel and ran. It was the coward’s move, you knew it was, but you couldn’t be there anymore. Tears blurred your vision as you pushed through the crowd to get to the back door, heaving shaky breaths once you finally made it outside. You could hear familiar voices yelling and felt the slightest tinge of joy knowing that your younger siblings were giving Hahn hell.

You leaned against the side of the building, pressing the heels of your hands against your forehead to try and stop yourself from having a full on breakdown. You started to count backwards from twenty in your head as your eyes scanned the area for something, anything, to ground you. It helped in the sense that you weren’t about to lose it right then and there, but you were still on the brink. You slid down the wall into a sitting position and hugged your knees to your chest, the tears finally falling.

This was your university, this was your night, this was for you to make new memories and end your first semester, but like everything else he had come in and ruined it. You had no idea how he even found you, how he knew you would even be here, but it scared you.

“Should’ve blocked you as soon as you… fucking asshole… can’t believe..” you mumbled incoherently as you pulled your phone out with shaky hands, blocking and deleting his number. You dropped your phone in your lap and then put your head in your hands, still trying to process everything that happened. You didn’t even look up when you heard someone coming outside, but somehow you immediately knew who it was.

“Hey, Y/N.. Are you.. okay?” Zuko’s voice was full of sympathy but also caution, as if you were a delicate flower you didn’t want to tear.

“Do I look okay, Zuko?” Your words came out much more aggressive than you wanted them to, and you bit your lip. You had always expected his kindness to be a double-edged sword, something he used just to get something from you, but it never was. Not even once. It made sense after what he told you, and it just made him an even better person in your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just.. not. Not in the slightest. Hahn was the last person I expected to see tonight.”

Zuko moved over and sat down against the wall with you then hovered his hand above yours, giving you a chance to pull away. When you didn’t move, he set his hand on yours, filling you with the comforting warmth that you missed.

“You don’t need to apologize. What he did was fucked up.” He cracked a small smile. “Punching him was pretty badass though.”

You wiped a tear away and let out a soft laugh. “It was about time I stood up for myself. Our whole relationship was built off of this sick power dynamic that he loved to wield over me. Things were fine for the first few months, of course. He had this douchebag reputation on campus, but I believed that I could change him, that I could be the one to make him settle down, and— and it felt like I had at first! He was the sweetest guy, and he always brought me things and took me out on dates and it was just- it was just a dream. But I should’ve known he was using me. He had never changed, he had just gotten better at hiding those parts of himself.”

“I had zero sense of self worth and he used that. Told me that if I broke up with him I would never find anyone better, always convincing me that I was the one in the wrong, that if I wasn’t so dramatic then we wouldn’t have all these arguments. And the worst thing about it? I believed him. I believed him every time.” Your voice cracked on your last sentence and you could feel yourself getting choked up again. You swallowed hard and tried your best to push your emotions back down. “I was so terrified that he was right, that I would end up alone if I broke up with him, that I stayed. And that was our relationship for the past three years — built off of fear and manipulation.”

“A lot of people wonder why I transferred here. Sure, I did it for my masters, but Kyoshi has a perfectly fine program. I had already established my life there, I had an apartment, lots of friends, and yeah, I was going to go through with it. I was going to get my masters back there, but I… I did it because of him. I left because of Hahn.”

“Y/N. What did he do?” There was a dangerous undertone to his words, and you placed your intertwined hands on his knee. You didn’t want him to do something he would regret, and more selfishly, you needed him here right now.

You closed your eyes and let the question hang in the air for a moment. You hadn’t told anyone the truth of how your relationship ended with Hahn, and this wasn’t how you had pictured telling Zuko. If you were being honest, you didn’t think you would ever tell him — but he deserved to know.

“He cheated.” You said the words so easily, so simply that you almost shocked yourself. It shocked Zuko too; you could see his eyes widen slightly from your peripherals.

“Yeah. He cheated on me. That’s how things ended. After everything I put into that relationship, everything I did for him, everything he took from me… I still wasn’t enough for him. I got home from class one day to find him in bed with another girl, and… that was it. Something inside me just snapped. That was my moment of clarity — no yelling, no crying, no… anything. I just left. A friend let me crash at her place, and that night I started the process of transferring here. I made a promise to myself that I would never let someone like Hahn in again, and… well, now we’re here.” You laughed humorlessly and wiped a tear from your eye.

It was like the breath had been stolen from Zuko’s chest. He had never fully understood why you were so reluctant to open up to people, but this explained it. You weren’t someone who gave out love freely, but you had to Hahn — and the way he had treated that love made him sick. He had ingrained in you the ideal that you couldn’t be loved, only tolerated, and that was why you had such a hard time accepting help from anyone. The thought alone made him want to find Hahn and get him back for everything he had done to you. The only thing stopping him was that he didn’t want to leave you alone.

“Y/N,” he muttered. “I had no idea. Katara and Sokka didn’t even know.. Why did you hold all of this in?”

“Because I was scared, Zuko! I got myself into this mess with a stupid boy that everyone had warned me about, so I felt like I had to get myself out. Even when things took a turn for the worse, I felt like I couldn’t involve anyone else because it was my fault. It was my fault for trusting someone like him, it was my fault for believing all of his lies, it was my fault for not being good enough. And even after everything he did to me, a part of me still missed him.” You let out a laugh that was a touch unhinged. “There’s something seriously wrong with me.”

“Y/N, look at me.” You tore your eyes up from the ground and at Zuko — his golden irises looked the same as the first time you met him and it was oddly comforting.

“There is nothing wrong with you. Okay? And I know it’s easier said than done, believe me, I know, but you don’t need to be scared. I understand why you were so hesitant to share what happened with Hahn, but you don’t need to be. I don’t know how much weight my words have, but I want you to know that you can always tell me what is happening with you. Whether it’s a life changing event or just what you did that morning, I’ll listen to you. You aren’t alone, Y/N, because I’m here for you. I always will be.”

Your eyes widened with surprise as you stared into his own. This was the most sincere you had ever seen Zuko, even more than the night he told you about his life. There was a nagging voice in the back of your head telling you to kiss him, feel that warmth again, forget about what had happened for just a moment.

But as the familiar prick of incoming tears returned, you knew you couldn’t. You were drunk, on the verge of a complete breakdown, and anything that happened between you tonight would be tainted with the memory of Hahn. So with a concentrated effort, you tore your eyes away from his and swallowed, your throat dry and scratchy from the screaming match you had gotten yourself into.

“I don’t think I can spend another minute here. I hate to ask, but.. can you take me home?” you asked quietly. “You might not be able to tell, but I’m not in a state to do anything right now.”

“Of course.” You gave his hand another squeeze to let him know that he hadn’t overstepped, and stood up. The two of you began the walk back to the car and Zuko let go of your hand, shifting so that he could instead wrap his arm around your back. You smiled softly and leaned your head against his shoulder, the gesture a welcome comfort.

“Thank you,” you whispered. He squeezed your shoulder softly in response, a silent notion that said everything he couldn’t.

Tonight had been a wreck, that much was certain. Your past had resurged in the most painful way possible, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to get through it alone.

But you weren’t alone this time. You had Zuko.

And with Zuko by your side… you knew you would be okay.

-

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atla: @marianne1806

[dreamii-yume]

SPOILERSSS for Twisted Wonderland Chapter 6 : 1-16!!!

*rubs hands* aight it wont take long before genshin has me in its gacha hell grasp again, I just barely escaped this time— NOW ITS TIME TO SEE THE BOIS CHAPTER 6 omg— wtf happened last time lol it’s been too long

So, no voice over because of some problems which is understandable but— meh I don’t feel like reading lol So I’m watching otome ayui translations this time, because im that one dumbass student who skipped kanji class and now i cant read without sounding like im five _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): “what up im yume im way passed 19 and i never fucking learned how to read”

Also watching Hanayura Kanon stream for the rest that’s not yet been translated lol Because he’s very good at voice acting for the characters and he’s funny af lol

- OKAY OKAY— WTF HAPPENED EXPLAIN

- Fun fact : I haven’t watched Hercules yet so I legit don’t know what’s about to come lol

- Aw, that’s cute— We called over Ace and Deuce late at night AND THEY REALLY CAME OVER AAAAA

- I forgot how fckin pure their friendship is _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight, so we actually have a huge-ass scratch from feral Grim lol That’s just fantastic, isn’t it

- FINALLY— We’re talking about Mickey and the stones my monster cat has been eating with Crowley AAAAA

- “Yeah there’s this bitch called mickey and i took his photo—“

- WE’RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT THIS. AFTER 6 CHAPTERS.

- Bruh this crystal of blot sounds really dangerous why are we discussing this just now

- Speaking of this crystal, Crowley— you were looking for this crystal in chap one and when we asked you about wtf you’re trying to find you just went— “oH itS NothING.”

- I SUPPOSED ITS NOT NOTHING NOW IS IT

- I didnt see you searching for crystals after every chapter mr. crowley where were you 👁👄👁 dont you think it was weird that you didnt see a single one after like— five blotting incidents

- Oh so its rare i see— BRUH R U SURE ABOUT THAT grim literally found one every single chap LMAO

- Okay okay— see, he may be violent but listen— you aint gonna throw out my fucking cat okay

- Wh— THERE WAS A FESTIVAL!? Im dumb so its not just VDC LOL

- Listen LISTEN— GRIM IS FINE. HOLD UP— NO NEED TO THROW HIM OUT JUST LET ME HAVE ANOTHER LOOK AT HIM

- Aww, Ace and Deuce looked pissed about it too AAAAHH THE TRUE DEFINITION OF THE BOIS

- BRUH NO— ALL THE DORM LEADERS TO GO AND CAPTURE GRIM?? HE’LL DIE

- CROWLEY PLS— WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS, HONEY

- #Grimportectionsquad

- “It’s bout time for them to come” Who?

- FUCKING— CROWLEY STOP SAYING ITS NOTHING— This is why this school is so fucked, you never tell us anything ahead of time _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight he left, Ace Deuce hurry help me what you guys got

- He may be a monster but see— the worst he did is eat the whole tuna stack SO PLS HES STILL BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- THATS RIGHT DEUCE MY MAN GRIM CAN DO NO BAD I SWEAR

- HE WOULDNT EVER AGAIN I SWEAR

- Ace ヽ(；▽；)ノ The character development— im so proud of you, son

- THIS IS THE BOISSS— LETS GOOOO

- Fuck this is so beautiful— just me and the bois on our way in the middle of the night to find our MISSING CAT I—

- CROWLEY REALLY DID ASSEMBLE THEM DORM LEADERS AAAAAAA AT THIS HOUR TOO WTF

- BRUH WE CAN TALK

- Kalim Kalim Kalim Vil Vil Vil— Pls we’ve been through so much last chapter ＨＥＬＰ

- Leona…A big fat ｍｏｏｄ honestly lmao

- Ey ey riddle pls— dont make this any more difficult—

- Shut up azul stay where u are all you’ve done is nothing but chaos since you arrive so SHHH

- MALLEUS IS NOT HERE AGAIN LILIA PLS— where is he when we need him the most LOL

- Ortho, your bro where?? Also— SURVIVAL STATUS BRUH—

- YES PLS DONT HURT HIM OMG

- oh i forgot idia lives in his tablet LOL OF COURSE

- Omg he’s in the apple trees still looking scary as shi aaaaaaa pls kitty come home u just had too much catnip

- OH GOD 15m HE’S CLOSE

- “Starting operation” ORTHO WHAT TF

- EY EY EY oh good he’s knocked out sighhh

- Aight I know this has been translated but I can’t help but to look at the original japanese and im just— wtf is RTS and TAS idia i dont understand this advanced gamer otaku language

- But Idia and Ortho really do be speedrunning on who can fucking kick my cat the hardest LOL

- THATS RIGHT IDIA You understand me— Fellow cat lovers unite, Grim is very cute, he can’t do no bad

- …so can i have him back pls—

- Can we just appreciate the fact that these bois are willing to take the risk of getting their heads chopped off by Riddle by doing all this for us??

- If this isnt what you call true friendship then i dont know what this is

- Lol ambrose is going to appear in this festival again and crowley’s prideful ass is QUAKING

- WHY are we not allowed to see him crowley im sure we can handle it— We’re the BOIS. CMON

- Imagine if they just summon a fcuking— magic vet or something lol

- It’s the next day lol

- HAH ITS THE VDC LOSERS BY ONE VOTE SQUAD

- I mean the NRC Tribe— ٩( ᐛ )و

- VIL. what you have my queen

- Vil pls dont remind me that my cat isnt here but thank you for saying thank you i do not deserve—

- AWW THE ADEUCE SQUAD LOOKS SO SAD AAAAA

- Vil i miss the bad bitch but absolute oneesan energy but the apology— yeah are we gonna cry again lol

- AAAAAAHH why am i so proud— THAT vil is apologizing

- You dont need to maam what we had in chapter 5 was a fucking journey i regret nothing

- I swear if rook goes like— bitch that aint beautiful imma bonk him I WILL DO IT dont think i forgot what u did last chap

- Man i love me a man who can openly admit his mistakes MMMGH

- Rook i swear—

- Im glad that we’re not toning down ace’s brutal honesty lol

- BRUHHH I DONT LIKE IT WHEN VIL US TAKING ALL THE BLAME i mean what he said was kinda true BUT STILL

- Cheer up Vil, it’s not like it’s a complete failure anyways (；ω；) it was fun at least

- Hearing Jamil encourage Vil like this feels surreal BUT YES BOI U TELL EM

- What is this beautiful character development

- Ooff way to hit where it hurts the most vil my queen lol

- AAGH IT HURTS VIL RECOGNIZING NEIGE’S HARDWORK LIKE THIS— THE PRIDE I CAN FEEL IT ＣＲＡＣＫ

- Bruh we appreciate Neige’s impeccable smile in this household— REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE NEIGE’S GON BE A BAD BOI??? WELP—

- It was me, i was that person and i shall drown in apple juice for it

- Of course, the ultimate Neige simp already knows that lol

- Bruh the background music has no business being this sad　ｓｔｏｐ

- I hate it when vil is right sometimes omg— TRUEEE KALIM especially wouldn’t be able to stand properly on stage after knowing Neige’s own hardships aaaa

- NOO BABY DONT CRY

- Vil redemption arc??? 👀👀 you can help us cure our cat—

- !? Are we gonna get that money promised in that poster?? 👀👀

- WHAA FUCKING WAHAA VIL IS GONNA PAY THAT US??? THE WHOLE 5 MIL EACH??!! VIL CALM DOWN WHAT I SAID WAS A JOKE

- Damn vil is ＳＴＡＣＫＥＤ He really didnt want to owe anyone anything LMAO YES QUEEN

- WHA— KALIM IS ACCEPTING??? OUT OF EVERYONE HERE, I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO ACCEPT THAT KALIM

- Kalim is making my heart go boom boom again baby boi ✨👁💧👄💧👁✨✨

- HE’LL DONATE IT TO THE RAMSHACKLE DORM BABY BOIIII

- …sumimasen kalim for having a very rundown dorm 👁💧👄💧👁 but thank you for being nice about it lol

- OKAY OKAY KALIM YOU DONT HAVE TO LIST ALL THE THINGS WRONG IN MY DORM PLS—

- THIS IS EMBARRASSING PLS KALIM IM SORRY FOR BEING POOR

- But this man be such a sunshine holy shit i cant even be mad about it lol

- AW YEAH RAMSHACKLE DORM IS GONNA GET A MAKEOVER

- EVERYONE BE DONATING THEIR MONEY TO US AAAAA Were they always this NICE

- Aight adeuce pls— y’all dont have to force yourself to donate my guys (´；ω；`) being friends is enough lol i get it my bois

- Find me a man who can make me feel like this the way Vil can

- Man if only Grim is here :’) he’d be soo happy :’)) you can have all the tuna you want buddy :’)))

- GRIM PLS ADEUCE IS WILLING TO TREAT YOU TO LUNCH BABY

- Bro this is so wholesome omg

- Im sorry but still up to this day, my understanding of Epel’s accent is still　ｌａｃｋｉｎｇ lmao

- Aight they be talking about how Rook already knew that they were going to lose from the very beginning

- The FORESHADOWING LOL The difference with how Rook said “What a wonderful performance” rather than “What a beautiful performance” sigh

- Honestly we gotta respect Rook’s resolve here lol man just knows what he wants

- Rook and Vil’s friendship lmao

- 👁👄👁 …!?

- EARTHQUAKE WTF How dare you ruin such moment—

- WHAT IS GOING ON

- EY WTF DONT DESTROY MY DORM WTF ARE YOU GUYS

- WHAT ARE THESE ROBOTS OUTSIDERS KILL THEM WITH FIRE

- They look like something that belongs to the Ignihyde dorm HUH

- Oh bruh— Vil in his Dorm Leader mode is so cool AND YES I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE TIME BUT wheww~~ Vil YAS QUEEN

- KALIM TOO AAAAAA JAMIL’S 「はっ！」SO COOL

- so SO— the dorm leader’s have a protocol for outsider attacks like this 👁👄👁 OMG THEY’RE SO HOT

- They don’t seem like our bois anymore aaa just pure professionalism at this point—

- GOD I FORGOT HOW COOL THEY ARE OMG

- HEEEYYY OUR DORM IS GETTING DESTROYED WTF ARE THESE GUYS’ PROBLEM

- We were just talking about renovating it too wtf

- AAAAAHHH HOW DARE YOU— VIL R YOU OK

- Bruh i dont know what is going on but dont touch my man’s face

- They’re targetting Vil and Jamil WHY— overblot men!!??? WHERE ARE YOU— GIVE THEM BACK

- I didnt understand what epel said here lmao BUT—!?

- THEY HAVE GRIM TOO FUCK HE’S BACK LET GO OF MY FUCKING CAT

- WHAT IS GOING ON DARLINGS

- BUDDYY >:’0000 Grimmm MY HEART—

- Are they kidnapping the overblot men?? What— the fucking absolute ｂａｌｌｓ on these robots

- God we’re getting absolutely ｆｕｃｋｅｄ in here

- AND THERE’S A CAULDRON IN THE BACKGROUND LOL DEUCE WENT HAM

- BRING ME BACK MY FUCKING CAT— >:’0000

- I thought there’s going to be a festival not a fucking kidnapping event HEY

- Oh 👀 Rook pls help

- AAAHH SERIOUS ROOK IS HOT—

- IS THE OTHER DORM LEADERS CHILLING WHERE ARE THEY KALIM PLS BE SAFE

- OH RIDDLE IS NOT ANSWERING THEY GOT HIM TOO

- Oh ghad they got him during clubs WTF HOW—

- *nervous hornii chuckling* …angry expression silver 👁👄👁 im sorry

- AAAA Dorm leaders actually be acting like dorm leaders is soo cool i cant—

- Bruh the story is all chaos what is this chapter

- Are they gonna get Leona and Azul too what—

- RIDDLE BABY Jesus christ dont overblot like this again lol

- DAMN HE STRONG FOR A SMOL BOI THO

- Whoever made these robots wtf is their deal lol TO BE ABLE TO BEAT A DORM LEADER—

- …Bruh where is our horned friend when u need him

- Silver and Sebek theorizing with dorm leaders but they took Jamil tho?? It’s probably the overblot men they’re after

- Also Malleus is probably good so you two calm down lol Lilia’s probs having tea with him right now

- Okay, Leona how are you going to get captured KING.

- Omg everything is getting destroyed wtf

- AW LEONA SAVED RUGGIE THATS CUTE AND COOL AF

- Bruh leona these are material robots— cant you just turn them into sand lol

- Oh they do have some kind of brand cmon just turn them into sand pls

- WHAT THE FUCK

- LEONA-SAN!? WHY ARE YOU GIVING UP— OJI-TAN!!!

- OLD MAN WHAT—

- *hearing leona whisper his reasons ✋ 👁👄👁 🤚 okay sir im sorry

- Damn Leona acting like a real prince right now— it’s kinda hot 👀👀

- BRUH PLS COME BACK DONT TALK LIKE YOU AINT GONNA

- BRO WHERE ARE THE TEACHERS

- THE BOARD GAME CLUB

- Idia : “bro we just chilling be cool— MY CHESS PIECE“

- “Aight ortho what’s the situation” “ｆｕｃｋｅｄ＂

- So Idia of course knows about this— why does he look like he’s so done lmao me getting the feeling this isnt the first time idia has encountered this situation before lol

- Man i want to see azul in action too but mehh— Idia told him to settle down cries

- LOL WHAT IS THIS KARONE ROBOTS

- Wait— are they taking idia too?? OH IS THIS THE DOING OF IDIA’S FAMILY

- WHERE IS CROWLEY— THE TEACHERS, YOUR IMPORTANT STUDENTS ARE GETTING KIDNAPPED

- AH THEY ALSO KNOW ABOUT THESE STYX BITCHES WHAT— and they’re just letting them GO whaaat

- Sounds to me that this must be idia’s family taking care of the overblotting students?? Like to protect Idia or something?? I DONT—

- “Gather all the dorm leaders” No, sir, they’re already gone besides my sunshine and the horn boi

- Malleus??? 👁👄👁 TSUNOTAROU

- Pls kill the robots they destroyed my place

- AAH UPSIDE DOWN LILIA long time no see lol

- Bruhh the diasomnia students are so lucky to have Malleus as a dorm leader omg

- BRUH LILIA’S RINGTONE IS SO CUTE LMAO

- Kalim sounds so desperate im so sad

- ARE WE— ARE WE GONNA MEET MALLEUS AGAINNN

- Bruh they just goku teleported their way out of the dorm lol

- AAAAHH EVERYONE IS HERE THIS IS SO FUN

- Wait jack is not here lol did they just forget about him wtf

- Oh shit we here too i did not know LMAO

- S-So are we just gonna..continue school like— like these styx bitches didnt just ruin half the school, my dorm, injure my bois, and took my cat or…???

- GASP AAAA STYX IS A BLOT RESEARCH FACILITY WHAAAT

- So that’s why leona and idia be like bro this is not worth it

- O-Oh yeah— they…they didnt know that Vil overblot— PFFT

- Malleus pls information who are you talking about—

- WHO— LILIA MALLEUS OH NO

- Ey, overblot squad are assembled lol this looks so dangerous

- LMAOO Riddle was sleeping on Leona’s lap for three hours THATS SO CUTE

- Where the fck did they take them, ITS CRAMPED AF

- Bro they’re just exposing Vil and Jamil’s overblot that’s supposed to be a SECRET LOL

- Oji-tan can sound so wise and reliable like this if he really tried lol sugar daddy energy

- Wtf these guys never thought that idia was from a big shot family??? They thought it was just coincidence that they had the same family name PFFT

- AZUL AAAA He was right there my guy BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY MAN

- oh. They finally opened— isn’t this the ignihyde dorm what

- WHAT THE FU— IDIA

- Bro— WHAT WAS THAT IT WAS IDIA ALL ALONG???

- WHAT IS THIS CHAPTER

This chapter is a fucking roller coaster like— literal 0 to 100 ＱＵＩＣＣ From having a moment with Vil and the bois to a FUCKING TERRORIST ATTACK LMAO IM HYPED FOR NEXT CHAP—

It’s been so long, I hope they released the next part soon (๑>◡<๑) I forgot how fine these men are lol at least I want to hear their voices again 👁👄👁